Relationship with parents BY MAULANA THANVI

1. Never be disrespectful to parents. Do not say a harsh word to them.
2. Even if parents are unjust, it is not lawful for children to ill-treat, disobey or displease them.
3. Obey them in all lawful things. If they instruct you to do anything which is unlawful in the Sharee'ah , then politely and with respect and apology decline. Never refuse rudely nor argue with them.
4. When parents abuse, scold or even beat their children, they should submit to such treatment with humility. Never should they utter a word of disrespect or complaint, nor should they display on their faces any indication of disgust or anger. Bear their treatment in silence and with patience. Make du'aa for them.
5. Assist them in all lawful ways even if they happen to be non-Muslims.
6. Whenever you see them, greet them.
7. If you are living with them, take their permission before going anywhere. Inform them of your whereabouts.
8. If you are engaged in Nafl Salaat and your parents call you, break your Salaat and answer their call, even if there is no urgency or importance in their call. If you are performing Fardh Salaat and you detect urgency in their call, then break even the Fardh Salaat to answer their call.
9. Do not call them on their names. Address them with a title of respect and honour.
10. After death, make du'aa of forgiveness for them. Pray for their forgiveness and within your means, practice virtuous deeds with the intention of the thawaab thereof being bestowed on them by Allah .
11. Pay the debts of your parents.
12. If they had made any lawful wasiyyat (bequest), fulfil it if you are by the means to do so.
13. Be kind, respectful and helpful to the friends of your parents.
14. When entering the private room of parents, seek their permission before entering.
15. Always be cheerful in their presence.
16. Speak kindly and tenderly with them.
17. When speaking to parents, keep your gaze low. Do not stare them in the face.
18. Do not raise your voice above the voices of your parents.
19. Be humble in their presence.
20. When accompanying parents on a walk, do not walk in front of them nor on the right or left side. Walk slightly behind them.
21. Even in their absence, speak highly and respectfully of them.
22. Do not give preference to the wife over them (this does not apply to the rights of the wife. Where parents instruct their son to violate or discard the obligatory rights of his wife, it will not be permissible to obey them in this case.)
23. Always endeavour to keep them happy.
24. Do not embark on a journey without their permission.
25. When they question you, do not inconvenience them by delaying your reply.
26. It is highly disrespectful to refrain from answering them.
27. If at any time you were disrespectful to your parents, regret your action and hasten to obtain their pardon.